Landon James
was born on
February 29, 2016 at 10:29am.
8lb. 14oz. and 22in. long.
He and his mom are
both doing well.
There are a lot of feelings that come along when you are waiting for a baby to be born. For those of us who are stuck in the waiting room, the feelings go something like this; excited, nervous, fearful, bored, hungry, tired, guilty about feeling tired – repeat. This is how it went as my mother and I sat in the maternity waiting room all day and all night.
Around 2:00am a new feeling washed over us – envy. Up until that point we had been friendly with anyone who came into the waiting room. These people were in the same boat as us as they waited for their new family member and worried about the women they loved. We would share stories and updates along the way. We would congratulate them when they heard the good news. Once a few of these groups came and went, my mom and I admitted to each other that we were a little jealous of the those who had already had their baby and had the chance to hold them. But around 2:00am that slight feeling of jealousy boiled over into full-blown envy.
Two people burst into the waiting room clearly in shock but also immensely happy. The man, who had just become a father for the third time, just kept repeating, “I can’t believe it, can you believe it? A leap year baby, I can’t believe she already had him!” The women, his mother, would answer, “I know, I know, it’s incredible!” This went on for a while until more details came out that this man drove about 120 miles an hour to get here. His wife was in the building 4 minutes before she had her third child. They were incredibly close to having the baby in the hallway, but everything went fine.
Meanwhile, my mother and I are sitting on a couch in the kind of haze that accompanies sitting in a waiting room 12 hours. Without speaking, we looked at each other and silently agreed that we would not be talking to these people. We would not celebrate with them, we would pretend to read or sleep until they were gone. Once they left my mother turned to me and said, “You have GOT to be kidding me!” I agreed.
Now I should remind you that my mother and I are both pastors and this is not at all how people of faith should behave. We should have rejoiced with our brother and sister in that waiting room. They were so happy and we should have shared in their joy. But we could not bring ourselves to do it. We wanted it to be our turn. We wanted my sister’s pain to end. We wanted to hold that little boy. We wanted to sleep.
Envy is an ugly emotion. It turns us into people we do not like or recognize. But God is good and full of grace. We are forgiven for that moment and we have been given one of the most beautiful gifts God can give, a new life. We have a new member of our family to care for and love. Our family and God’s got a bit bigger that day and that is a very good reason to celebrate!
